This is an amazing book, and Shawn is an amazing woman. I am so excited that I got to interview her and share it with all of you.
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| Shawn and her husband Justin |
What are you hoping to tell/teach people about PTSD through your book?
To understand what military PTSD really is and to help couples understand each other better.
What is the purpose of the Military with PTSD Facebook page?
Military With PTSD was started in August 2010 as a place to launch my free, 28-page mini-book "The War At Home." I wanted to help spouses prepare for when the soldiers came home and give them a understanding of what could really happen. But as the page grew, it has turned into a support group for everyone who is affected by PTSD.
Are people without military-related PTSD welcome on the page?
Of course! We focus on military PTSD but everyone is still welcome.
Your husband wasn’t in combat; how can he have PTSD?
That is a common misconception. You can get PTSD from a car wreck, rape, being on body detail... It does not have to come from combat. Justin handled dead bodies--one being his friend whose head was crushed--as well as a plane crash on his ship. He also went through the stress of a boat coming straight at them at a time when he was prohibited from even firing a warning shot, all while images of the USS Cole were running through his mind.
Was it hard to write a book with such personal information in it?
No not really. The parts most would think were hard really weren't hard at all to write. Knowing that PTSD was behind all that Justin said and did made it easy to talk about because I knew it wasn't the real him.
How do you keep the page running smoothly with the difference of point of view between spouses and Vets?
From the get-go we have presented the page as a place for vets to educate spouses and for spouses to educate vets on how each side thinks. Most people respect that pretty well.
Wouldn’t is be easier to separate the spouses and Vets?
Maybe, but then how would the spouses and vets learn from each other? This way makes it so they have a shot a communicating more clearly.
How did you get your husband to agree to write the book with you?
I didn't; the fans of the Military with PTSD page did.
There are some pretty graphic parts in the book. Why did you put those in there?
It had to be real. It did no good to sugarcoat it and hide the truth.
In general, is it hard for vets to open up to spouses?
Very, because they only trust other vets. This is especially true of their Battle Buddies who have gone through the same bad experiences they have. They can relate to each other in a way that spouses can't.
If you had to tell a newly-diagnosed family one thing, what would it be?
Learn everything yo can about ptsd.
How did you get the idea to write the book?
The 28-page mini-book came out of my journaling. I decided to share it as a way to help spouses. Later, the fans on the page asked me to turn the mini-book into a full print book.
Do you plan on writing another book?
Yes it is being discussed right now. I'm trying to figure out what families need the most.
How have your kids handled Justin’s PTSD?
Jesse, my youngest daughter, has a hard time when Justin is having a bad day. Jaxson has no problem telling Justin how he feels. Sometimes they can be a little out of control because their dad is out of control sometimes. They're just doing what they see.
We hear you have some health problems. How does Justin cope with that?
He does alright with my kidney condition. It does stress him out but he is doing better with handeling it.
Have you ever considered becoming a therapist?
No, because then I will think like a therapist and not someone who understands PTSD. Some of the therapists at the Vet Centers are very good and do understand PTSD, but civilian therapists don't seem to understand military PTSD, and there is a difference.
Why didn’t you leave your husband when he started being abusive?
Because it was the PTSD causing the abusive behavior, not Justin being abusive.
If you could help the military tell one thing to our troops returning from any deployment, what would it be?
Seek counseling ASAP!. The sooner you get help the better.
Would you consider writing a book “Dummy’s Guide to getting VA benefits” ?
Possibly. I would have to figure out a way it wouldn't be used as a scammers' guide
What do you think is the most important piece of knowledge for a new (or old) PTSD spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend to know about their PTSD spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend?
That they are changed and most likely don't think anything is wrong with them. And even if they do get help for their PTSD, they probably won't ever be the same person they were before they got it.
So is your husband cured now?
No, but he is doing better.
Is there a cure for PTSD?
No, but it is manageable.
Will people with PTSD every get back to their “old selves?
Not totally. You will have to accept the new person. Working with a therapist will help you sort out what is acceptable behavior and what isn't, and the answer is different for everyone. But in general, you have to be willing to make changes to your own life to be able to continue a relationship with this person.
Are you donating any of your book profits?
I have already donated my first week's sales to Soldiers' Angels, and I am in the process of starting up the Military with PTSD non-profit organization. Most likely, most of the profits from book sales will end up going to support that organization.
Is there anything else you would like readers to know?
Learn communication skills!!! You're going to need them!
The book can be purchased on Amazon and is also available for the Kindle and Nook!
